just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
do nipples grow back?
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