Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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