he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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