I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
