If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
