i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
