That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
