I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
