The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
