if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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