As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
