apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
