theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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