god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
