do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
