I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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