waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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