i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
