We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
