he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
