just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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