She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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