She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
