Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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