"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
