What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
What happened to fro yo and sex?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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