I think i peed on brittanys purse
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
nutella sex= disaster
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
