I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
