I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
