no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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