i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
