Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
