I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
