Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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