Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
did i walk over a car last night?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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