my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just forgot I was standing up.
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