i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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