you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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