worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
