did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
