I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
