I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you had me at cake vodka
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
