Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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