Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
so much tequila, so little girl.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
