k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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