You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
