Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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