Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
