I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
