It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
